Posted in Poetry

Powerless

 

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I had something to say
So I said it
But the breath was for nothing
As you didn’t get it.

My emotions on the floor
Heart in my hands
And all I can think
Is I can’t do this again

The debts are high
And tongues are cut
More times than not
I think you’re a nut.

Smart as a whip
Crazy as a cat
Ignorance for icing
Annoyance of a gnat

Perfect vision
But blind to it all
All that is left
Is watching you fall

No love to save you
No thought to hate you
Just hopeless about tomorrow
And everything I wish you knew.

Posted in Poetry

Seventeen

I didn’t kill you,
Or pack up your stuff.
I even talked with you-
After your disastrous stunt.
Your mind stays closed-
While the mouth is open wide-
And soon from your mistakes…
There will be nowhere to hide.
Time is short-
That my influence has left-
And the lessons you needed to learn-
You clearly have yet to get.
How much pain will you cause?
How many bridges must your burn?
A troubled adulthood is looming-
I pray for a different turn.
Being 17 doesn’t come with rights-
But more opportunities to explore…
Yet you have wasted them all…
By choosing the troubled door.
So much need you have for control-
And less parental road blocks in place-
Yet you put more blocks there-
In your repeated arrogant haste.
I have allowed you to live-
But that’s all I can do…
Changing your direction in time-
Is unfortunately only up to you.

Posted in True Story

YESTERDAY WAS MY WORST DAY AS A PARENT

My 12 year old son has epilepsy. He was diagnosed with Petit Mal seizures (often referred to as absent seizures) in 3rd grade, but he had dramatically improved with medication since then. Everything changed yesterday around 2:00 p. My husband called me, because the school called him, to tell him to get to the school because Matthew had just experienced a Grand Mal seizure. Matthew never had such a serious seizure before and we were terrified.
My husband got to the school and Matthew was very weepy and out of it. When the paramedics told him he needed to go in the ambulance for the hospital he started crying harder. His dad carried and put him on the stretcher which helped calm him a little, and he was in and out during the ambulance ride.
I was 12 miles away from Matthew’s school, and 12 miles further away from the hospital, but I beat my husband and ambulance there. I drove 95 miles an hour on the interstate the entire way. Luckily there were no slow drivers to get in my way, and I suppose that is because God knew I was being dumb enough for everybody. He kept me calm and steady so that I would get there safely.
Matthew’s math teacher and school nurse called last night to check on him. It meant so much to us that they called at night, on their personal phones, to check on our son. The seizure happened in math class, and Matthew was sitting down, and in a desk that isn’t easy to get out of. His teacher said he fell hard and was surprised he didn’t break a cheek bone in the process. He said it sounded like a student had knocked a table over, and when he turned around he found my son convulsing on the floor. Both the teacher and students sprang into action and got the nurse and kept Matthew safe. Thank God for all of their quick thinking! I can only imagine how terrifying the situation was.
Matthew is doing okay today. The left side of his face and head are swollen and sore, but otherwise he is functioning normally it seems. He is at high risk for another episode for the next 3 weeks, and I pray that he is spared. It is no fun being a parent when your child is in danger or pain, and its even worse when you feel powerless to do anything.
Take the time to tell your kids you love them everyday! Days like yesterday are a strong reminder of how short our lives can be. God willing — we get more time.

Posted in Poetry

What IF

What if you had noticed-
The look on their face…
When they waited to pick you up
And bring you to your place?

How many children would be born?
How much happiness would there be?
If you saw the lack of promise-
And felt adult’s misery.

I ask as I sit in the parking lot,
Waiting for my child to come out.
And looking around at other parents-
I see a lot of doubt.

Or is it the loss of hope?
What is that look in their eyes?
Do they not know how to live?
Are they waiting to die?

Adults have lost the spark-
That brought them to life before.
Like getting up is a challenge-
And making it through the day a chore.

They all have their face buried in a phone,
And gloss over their eyes.
What we call progress
Look a lot more like a lie.

Take the time to enjoy the feel of the sun
And the sound of the falling rain,
The purity in the sight of snow,
And the flowers on the plains.

Take time to smell the roses
And the sweet barbecue too.
For all these things are missed in technology-
And raising your children too.

Show your children hope-
And there is always something more.
For each day is a gift-
With hope to build your core.