Category: Emotional Intelligence

Intelligence beyond your IQ

How smart are you? Do you know your IQ? Is that what makes you smart? Or is intelligence deeper than an IQ score?

Forbes Magazine published an article last year about successful people. No where on the list is a high IQ score. The article stated 10 traits of successful people. The traits listed were:
  1. Appreciate what they have
  2. Avoid asking WHAT IF
  3. Stay positive
  4. They disconnect – go off grid
  5. Limit caffeine intake
  6. They sleep
  7. Squash negative talk
  8. Re-frame their perspective
  9. They breathe
  10. Use their support system.
Quite a list, right? I do not disagree with anything on the list. Is it complete? No. People could always add to this list, and that is what I am going to do.
Successful people have Emotional Intelligence! What is that? Do you know? Psychology Today offered EI is the ability to identify and manage your emotions as well as emotions of others. Huh. What a concept! Can you imagine what domestic court systems would look like if the plaintiffs and respondents had emotional intelligence? We wouldn’t need so many lawyers or counselors for children! Can you imagine how successful your children would be if they built their emotional intelligence, and spent a lifetime doing that?
HelpGuide.org provided 4 attributes of EI. I am going to start with their last one first.
Relationship management – Communicate clearly. It doesn’t matter what you said if the message wasn’t received! Develop healthy relationships. Maintain healthy relationships. More importantly – inspire others!! Notice this says nothing about bending them to your will.
Social Awareness – Recognize the power and dynamics of a group or organization. I know a lot of people who could use this skill! Understand emotions, needs, and concerns of somebody other than yourself. Crazy concept!

Self management – The ability to control yourself! Have you noticed some people judge other people’s responses, but they cannot control their own emotions? I have always found hypocrites interesting. I wish I could say I have never been one. Anyway, this is the ability to control impulsive behaviors, take initiative and follow through with commitments. Your world would be a happier place if you did!

Self awareness – Understand and recognize how your emotions affect everything! Emotions effect thoughts, behavior, develop strengths and weaknesses, and impact your self confidence. 

Here is a little trivia: Where does depression start? With feelings or thoughts? If you said feelings – you are wrong.
Why am I writing about this? Because the world is run by too much hate and emotional stupidity! People are consumed by their own feelings of anger and resentment, and feel comfortable feeling and spewing their hate. Even spitting on the grave of a deceased Supreme Court Justice! Our media is full of hate. Our politicians are full of hate. Social Media is full of hate. You might be too. And where is the happiness in any of it? There isn’t any. Trust me!
True success is happiness. Stop wasting your time on negative thoughts and feelings. Stop encouraging your friends’ negative thoughts and feelings. Instead gain the ability to harness your emotions and use them to think positively and maybe solve a problem or two in the process. 
Dr. Phil asked something interesting on a recent show. He asked: “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” I thought that was interesting. Arguments occur because people are trying to be right, but how often do people look happy arguing? How often do they win what they want? A few have an ornery twinkle to their eyes when they achieve the task of getting under someone’s skin, but most people are just pissed off and unhappy. Who wins? Not you!
Stop the cycle. Stop the insanity. Build your Emotional Intelligence and then determine your list of attributes of being and staying successful. I would rather be happy, but I am always right anyway!