Tagged: Faith

Feeling Proud – Instead of just Down

My Garden

What a spring and summer this has been! I have been unemployed since 3/24/17. I can’t believe 4 months have passed by already. Unemployment has been an extremely difficult situation for me. Finances are certainly an issue, but the effect on my self esteem has been most severe. To my credit – I haven’t just sat around thinking about how bad things are. I have kept busy. The thing that has kept me most busy is my garden, and oh my goodness – am I proud of my garden.

Watching nature work has kept my spirits up. Well – bugs have ticked me off a few times. Especially when it comes to my green beans. But – I have endured and learned – and as a result I am feeling quite proud of my determination and work. My family has supported my ups and downs, as well my excitement for anything and everything that has happened with the garden. While my trials are tough – the blessings of everything and everyone in my life are far greater.

We planted lavender in our front yard years ago to attract bees. The plant did not do very well until this year. Watching the honey bees flock to it is a daily pick-me-up. Watching them work in the garden is fun too. Because of the bees we have had a lot of squash already (both zucchini and crookneck). We have lots of cucumbers starting – they look like cute little gherkins right now.

Honey Bee and Lavender

The squash plants are starting to latch onto the plastic fence my husband put up inside the wood fence. He did this to keep the rabbits out, but now it has a new benefit. I went to pick through the plants yesterday -but there was a long branch I couldn’t move, and I was amazed to see it had little vines that had wrapped around the fencing to climb. It made my day!

Latching on

I really need a job. I really want a job. My self esteem could really use a job. Until that blessing comes – the blessings of my garden and my family are getting me through. Love is incredible that way!

Open Heart

New Start Eve

A mess on the path
Mine to clean
Scrub and sweep
Are my means

Every move
Countless minutes
More shambles
No way to clean it

On my knees
Scream and cry
No progress for work
Or understanding why.

Seeking answers
With praying demands
To which He answered
You must clean your hands.

With palms and fingers clean
The mess was too
Appreciate the problem
And the answer inside you.

Seek the guidance
Recognize your part
He will give you the answer
When you open your heart.

Talking Breeze


The dream lives in darkness 

Producing light

Fractured lens

Feeling right.

Resurrection captured

Death was lost

Bravery 

Little cost.

The battle rages on

Inside hurts

Outside pushes

Bloodied shirt.

In the distance

Understanding 

The reward

Careful planning.

Stolen moment praises

Bending knees

Whispered answers

Talking breeze.

Enigmatic

Enigmatic

Someone unknown
While having a name . . .
Walking the mile
Assigning guilt and shame.
Performing a role
Without knowing how it’s done –
Challenging the winner
Before the game is won.
Defending a stranger
Offering means to succeed…
Not knowing the problem
But fulfilling the need.
Hearing a voice
Sensing a presence near
Required absence
Understanding clear.

Not Knowing Why


So often a need to understand 

Is a puzzle that can’t be solved

Delusions hide a truth 

Impatience hides resolve.

Magic is an illusion 

Much like reality in a group . . .

All life faces death 

The old once had youth.

Moments are a consequence 

To a past coming true . . .

Blessing are the lesson

Learning is up to you.

Faith in an outcome-

Despite trials taking comfort’s place

Hides beauty and a power . . .

Too often sacrificed to waste.

Grey skies lead to blue-

The sun will always rise

Stop needing to understand –

Appreciate not knowing why.

In Loving Memory

Amazing Sky
I witnessed the end
With no middle or beginning-
Confusion and torment
And faith growing and thinning….
I heard the stories told
As laughs were appreciated and shared
All about a young man
Who could no longer be there.
The more I learned about you-
Less anything made sense…
Actions so regrettable-
Knowledge missing a defense.
I witnessed amazing love
As a community held tight
Crying together-
Knowing nothing would make this right.
I was part of a goodbye-
Without ever having a hello…
But I will still miss you always. . .
And that is what I needed you to know.

Faith


Peace is in the silence 

As night finishes it’s fall

Hope is in the distance 

And so is losing it all.

Steps in between 

Changing how everything fits

An answer is the temptress 

The devil urging to quit.

But then looking to the sky

Reminded just like before

You are the power

I have to find the door.

Hope


Silent steps

Along a road with stops.

Noises vary 

Heart in knots.

No plan before

A blueprint now…

Where you were

And finding how.

Two steps back

Stop the pace-

Find the forward

Accept the race.

Sunset an ending

On a path just beginning 

You were waiting 

With hopeful grinning.

Just a step

But a power for more…

You heard my prayer

And opened a door.

On to hope

The gift of peace

Time a friend

To trial’s release.