Life keeps changing – but am I?
I am working now for the first time in almost 9 months! I am working in an industry I swore I never would. I joined the world of banking. I practically know nothing, but I am appreciating the small customer-centered environment. I am not one to appreciate large working environments because clicks of people take away from “team” environments in my opinion. Professional environments turn into a place where it feels like high school never ended, and high school was an environment I never appreciated. Click environments bring out the worst in personalities I think. Anyway… I digress….
My mother worked in the banking industry and was robbed two different times in her career. Scum – who think their needs and problems warrant robbing banks okay… these select few people are why I tried avoiding the industry. You have to be on high-alert at all times – while being friendly always too. It’s not an easy customer service task… but still beats the fast food industry! The future is bigger too and letting a select few ruin those opportunities would be foolish. Fear was the guiding factor – life made me learn to ignore it.
The work environment I am in is personal, and the employees like a small-knit family, so I am enjoying the atmosphere. I will someday know more to be valuable to the business, but until then I have a great team of people showing me possible futures to look forward to.
I worked in the transportation industry for years, and I miss the relationships I spent years building. I do not miss hating the holiday season, or the summer, because crap hitting the fan disturbed everything else. It was a tough environment that I managed to be good in. I had a lot of great teachers for what to do and not to do. Hopefully I learn in the same fashion in a new industry.
This has been a strange year. I had time that I have never had in my adult life. I reconnected with things I loved as a child, and discovered new loves that I do not want to lose. I had to depend on others because my dependence was stripped away for too long. It all ended with a heavy bout of depression in which life seemed to be in control.
So what now? Well, I have to marry the working life with the things I learned, and relearned, about myself this year. I have to find the energy to have both instead of learning to live with only one or the other. I have to keep my eyes and ears open so that my years of education become valuable in my career. I have to keep moving forward – instead of getting too comfortable standing still.
Until I have more puzzle pieces – I must be present enough to enjoy the experience, alert enough to sense dangers, and quiet enough to hear God’s voice. He was been there all 9 months – along with my family, parents and people from church. I may not be rich in dollars, but I am rich in people, and that helps move mountains when life insists on trying to depress you.
I have whined, cried and stressed a lot! I have smiled and enjoyed the simple things in life. I’ve had a full year… with too much to be thankful for. Thank you, Lord! Thank you for keeping blessings in-front of my trials. Thank you for not giving up even when I felt like I had. Thank you for keeping my kids and husband strong when I was weak. Thank you for each day you give me to try again!